Recipes: Gothic Fiction

To be made between the 18th and 19th centuries – unless you’re a modern author looking to add prestige to your trashy horror tale.



1 castle, ruinous in parts if not totally in disrepair. Empty if not for the fiend or degenerate taking residence there.

Abundantly clear lack of a cleaner to the premises with much coughing and cobweb based mishaps

A woman in the throws of madness. She’ll have knotty hair and will probably chant something at the moon before being saved or killed. Either way it’ll be a relief.

All manner of eerie sounds. Sighs. Moans. Misplaced Sexual tension. The moans becoming steadily more awkward following this realisation.

Supernatural events that “cannot be explained” Oooh. Freaky. Probably a vampire or monster that is representative of some section of society you secretly wish to ostracise. Looking at you, non-PC victorians.

Blood. Lashings of it – preferably dripping down walls. Really wishing we had that cleaner now.

Out of place romantic entanglement. It makes no sense but is apparently fundamental. Filler methinks.


Mix them thoroughly during symbolic weather e.g. storm or hurricane. Lot of analysable imagery there. Probably make no money during your lifetime but be revered and hailed as a genius long after your death. Lovely.


Catfish and the Bottlemen: The next Arctic Monkeys? Or the current Arctic Monkeys?

As I’m sure you’re all aware, Catfish and the Bottlemen are an indie rock band who have had a meteoric rise to stardom, since their debut album “The Balcony” was released in late 2014. Throughout their career, they have been compared to the greats, such as “Oasis”, “Arctic Monkeys”, “The Strokes” and even “The Kooks”. However after their second album, “The Ride”, was released on the 27th May, they reached a completely different level altogether, with their fame comparable to the likes of  “Kanye West”, “One Direction” and “Lady Gaga”, as “The Ride” reached peak album chart positions globally.

So the question is how good is “The Ride” really? Well as an album it is very complete, with extremely high production quality as you’d expect from any artist and many great hooks showing off their evident talent. However with this album there is more than just that, there is a certain elegance within the lyrics which is very rare with modern music, this is mainly due to how down to earth it is, nothing existential, nothing complex, just things that happen. Because of this, as a listener you can really connect with this music, and this, despite how simple of a notion it is, modern music really overlooks this. This is band that you can look at as if they are just people, unlike all these rap songs about living the high life, these songs can actually mean something to the average listener.

Due to the critical acclaim that the album had, when their tour dates for 2016 and 2017 were announced, tickets dropped like flies, with most of their tour dates being sold out within the first two hours, and for some venues due to the demand, extra tour dates needed to be added.

It is clear that Catfish and the Bottlemen are one for the future with much more to come, but not only that, they are evidently also one for the present.