Introducing Skaliber?

So, we’ve had Napiformity, Daroha, and there’s more to come, but for now this is your time to ponder about what Skaliber could possibly mean…

I’m sure you’re thinking something along the lines of “Skal, and iber? Maybe it has something to do with the Danish word for Must, and therefore derives an ancient call to the power one finds in oneself to gain the courage to do the impossible!”

Well, you’d be absolutely wrong, its a halfway house between the legendary sword, and bullet Caliber. Yeah.

ANYWAY.

Yeah, I put a question mark in the title of this post, simply because it fits my persona quite well, I am the person who questions everything, the true meaning of life, the ever expanding and impossible to fully conceive Universe itself, and even something as extreme as my own inclusion in the Sleazy Panda.

The name i like to go by around here is of course Skaliber, and the above is no word of a lie, its a combination of King Arthur’s sword, and the standard classification of bullets. Skaliber can be a bit if a mouthful though, so you can call me Skal, or just S.

*Desperately anticipates fan base*

Favourite Colour: I do not have a favourite colour.

Favourite Smell: I can barely smell.

Taste: Of the highest quality.

FAQ:

“Skaliber, where do you see yourself in 20 years?”

A – Every atom of the body replaces itself atleast once every 5 years, so my entire body will have come and gone atleast 3 or 4 times, so by definition, I will be an entirely different person, with a different life, different memories, different physiology, and technically, considering how the atoms of the body will simply transfer into surrounding space, me in 20 years is in a LOT of places.

“Hey Skal, do you have a YouTube channel you’d like to shamelessly plug?”

A – Well im glad you asked, Jimmy, I sure do!  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1UFw6cqmdFWdjEcY2HVZ7g

“Skaliber, what would you say are your aspirations for the future?”

A – Taking into consideration that the Universe will be in its inevitable heat death phase in roughly 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (a googol, no joke, that is the spelling) years, my aspirations for life are quite limited.

Thats right, I just started a new paragraph in a vocalized answer, and I also consider myself to be an existentialist, someone who admits the true meaningless nature of life, and aims to make something of it, by refusing to do anything that would ever make their relatively short existence dull in any way!

So there you have it! My name is Skaliber, I am the graphics artist for the Sleazy Panda, and I will be here for the inevitable future to bring you more weird and wonderful facts about our brilliant world.

SUBSCRIBE.

– S

 

Introducing Napiformity!

Hello to the tens of people reading this. You really came out in your droves, didn’t you. Well as one of the contributors to this blog, I have opted to answer some quick FAQs so that you can get to know me. Clearly from the off you can see that I just ooze originality.

LET’S GET RIGHT INTO IT.

My name (on here at least mehehe) is Napiformity or Mitty if the former gets a bit too polysyllabic. It is derived from the adjective napiform which means shaped like a turnip. So enjoy puzzling that one over. I’m enigmatic what can I say. What am I gonna say next? Scotch tape! See, you didn’t know.

My favourite colour is puce, like the armpit of a plague victim.

Favourite drink? Ice cold glass of disappointment. And irony.

On the TV right now? Killer women with Piers Morgan. Honestly it’s a riot…

Speak another language? Un poco. El Gato bombero. Biblioteca de pestañas. In other words… no.

Phone? Rose gold iPhone 6s. Because clearly I don’t exude enough white trash essence already.

My favourite line of poetry would have to be “I wandered lonely as a moth to eat some jumpers in a draw” – Steve Coogan

So there’s a basic introduction to me! Hope it gave you some insight and that you’re now itching to see what content I’ll put out next. I know I’m so excited. Well, as much as a cynic and sarcastic fiend as I possibly can be.

See you next time, turnips.

-N